Sir P. Hallus the Organic Pumpkin

Saturday, 31 March 2007

What is this?

“It’s orange, long and hard and bulbous at the end. What could it be Reese?” asked Joaquin.

“I don’t know, it’s too vulgar for a lady to look at,” replied Reese.

“Hey, let me have a squiz at it,” said Klimmy, observing their confusion from the corner of the room.

“Duuude! It looks like a pumpkin! Nothing to be scared about Reese. You can make a pie with it. Look, I’ll even taste a bit.”

“Mmmmmmm. Yeah it's definitely a pumpkin. What do ya reckon Whacko?” asked Klimmy.

“Hhhmm. It’s as hard as a pumpkin, but it’s a bit too long and developed from what I'm used to though. The pumpkins I eat are usually much smaller, almost unripe. Maybe Paris has a better idea,” said Whacko.

“Like, what’s a pumpkin? The shape of this thing is so hot right now. It looks good enough to lick.”

“Mmmm…loves it.”

“Eeewww, take that thing away from her! You are, like, so gross Paris. Somebody take it away from here!” cried Reese.

“Don’t worry Miss. Reese. I’ll take it far, far away to St Kilda.”

Pumpkin in St Kilda

“I’ve been left in St Kilda at sunset, the most romantic time of the day. Alas, I don’t have a date to walk along the pier with. Where can I find a pretty girl to enjoy this romantic sunset with?”

“Hello, my name is Sir P. Hallus. May I have the pleasure of your company for a walk along the St Kilda pier?” asked Sir P. Hallus.

“Errr, ok, sure why not,” replied the girl, “You look like a decent pumpkin.”

“It’s been such a lovely walk along the pier. Hold me up so I can see the beautiful Melbourne skyline,” requested Sir P. Hallus, “Do you fancy a snog?”

“NO! Get away from me! I don’t kiss pumpkins on the first date!”

Later at The Espy...

“So I took this girl for a walk along the pier at sunset and she didn’t want to kiss me. What’s wrong with me?” asked Sir P. Hallus.

“It could be that you’re not human,” replied Jake.

“That’s not very nice. I’m going to ask Dan tomorrow,” said Sir P. Hallus.

“Dan, why do you think my date wouldn’t kiss me last night?” asked Sir P. Hallus.

“I don’t know, but I hope you don't mind me holding you here so I can impress that waitress,” replied Dan.